An Introspective Journey into Dating

Introspection is defined as the self-examination of oneâ??s conscious thoughts and feelings. In essence, when one is introspective, they are self-reflective and carefully considerate of how they feel on a subject. However, when the subject is dating, we are often careless in our approach of who we date and why. We tend to go off of the extremely popular opinion that we should do without thinking which leads us to simply act on what feels good, but we rarely take the time to understand those feelings. Pursuing a relationship on impulse without reason or thought is what so often gets us hurt.

Understand Your Wants vs. Your Needs

Dating will always have a gambling element to it since we canâ??t be 100% sure that we are doing the right thing every time, but you can bypass many of the mistakes that are so easily made by learning to distinguish your wants from your needs and your fleeting interests for your long term desires. Spend some time looking at your relationship history and pinpoint the features of those relationships that you want long term vs. the ones you only thought seemed appealing at the time.

Ask Yourself Destiny Deciding Questions

Tony Robbins, a well known bestselling author and famous life coach, says that there are three questions to ask that can decide your destiny. These questions are: 1) What am I going to focus on, 2) What does it mean? and 3) What am I going to do? These three questions, when applied to your dating life, can help you determine which direction you should head when meeting a potential dating partner. They give you the tools to move ahead with dating free of feelings of intense uncertainty and doubt.

When you determine what your actions and desires should be and where they are coming from, you can allow yourself to bypass a lot of the tough questions that so many people allow to go unanswered in the early stages of a relationship. If you can be aware of the answers to these questions early on, then you will be far ahead of others in the dating game, and it will also allow you to be more protective of your heart.

Dating Partner

The first step to finding the person of your dreams is to be fully aware of who you are. If you don't know yourself, how can you expect someone else to know you completely?

Oprah Winfrey did an episode on discovering your purpose on earth, and in that episode Oprah talked about the four archetypes that every personality draws from. Archetypes are the patterns of behavior that every one of us has, and if you can identify your main archetypes, then you can begin to discover the kind of person you are. The four archetypes are:

1 The Child -

lighthearted, innocent, and believes in the impossible. Can be playful and fun, but will retreat after a disagreement. You need someone who is patient and fun loving.

2 The Victim -

does not often take responsibility for his or her own happiness or misfortune and tends to blame others for their downfalls. You need someone to help encourage you and build your self-esteem.

3 The Saboteur -

runs away from opportunities and situations that require work. You are afraid to live fully and will benefit from being with someone who can inspire and push you.

4 The Prostitute -

gives too much of themselves away to others without giving enough thought to his or her own well being. You find yourself helping the "victim" too often and need someone who is complete and can encourage you to think about what you need.

You may have a little bit of all of them in you, or you may strongly identify with one or two, but in order to discover what you want, you first need to discover who you are and take responsibility for that.