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Discovering Who You Are and What You Want

discovering your dating needs

Being a single adult can seem like a never ending sentence inflicted on you by a higher power. But it does not have to be that miserable, especially with the availability of free online dating sites catering to the dating needs of single men and single women. Himherdating.com the most trusted free dating site, reveals the secrets of discovering your needs and finding your perfect match.

Finding Love of your Life

You see all your friends finding the loves of their lives, getting married, and having kids and you wonder why you don't have that already. What is stopping you from finding that special someone that will make you want to commit and finally be happy? When will the love of your life show up? I'm sure you've thought, "If only I could have a couple decent options to choose from, then I would for sure be in a relationship by now," or, "Are my standards too high?" but would you really know? Sometimes we are not fully aware of what is stopping us from having that fulfilling relationship we all desire.

Be aware of your dating relationship needs

Even if you had the most amazing men or women in the world laid out on the best free dating sites for you to choose from, it wouldn't mean a thing if you didn't know what you truly wanted. And to know what you truly want, you first need to know who you really are. The first step to finding the person of your dreams is to be fully aware of who you are. If you don't know yourself, how can you expect someone else to know you completely?

Your archetype defines your dating needs

Oprah Winfrey did an episode on discovering your purpose on earth, and in that episode Oprah talked about the four archetypes that every personality draws from. Archetypes are the patterns of behavior that every one of us has, and if you can identify your main archetypes, then you can begin to discover the kind of person you are. The four archetypes are:

1 The Child

lighthearted, innocent, and believes in the impossible. Can be playful and fun, but will retreat after a disagreement. You need someone who is patient and fun loving.

2 The Victim

does not often take responsibility for his or her own happiness or misfortune and tends to blame others for their downfalls. You need someone to help encourage you and build your self-esteem.

3 The Saboteur

runs away from opportunities and situations that require work. You are afraid to live fully and will benefit from being with someone who can inspire and push you.

4 The Prostitute

gives too much of themselves away to others without giving enough thought to his or her own well being. You find yourself helping the "victim" too often and need someone who is complete and can encourage you to think about what you need.

All of our personalities are made up of these archetypes, so there is no shame in admitting which one you are. You may have a little bit of all of them in you, or you may strongly identify with one or two, but in order to discover what you want, you first need to discover who you are and take responsibility for that.

Discover your dating partner

Once you have discovered who you are, you can discover what you want in your partner, and now that you know who you are, you know what you need. Keep in mind your main personality archetype so that you can know what traits you want in the person you are looking for. For example, if you identify yourself with the Victim, then you probably would not be happy being with another Victim personality type; you would both need the same things and neither of you will have those things to give. The Child might not benefit from dating long distance since they have the tendency to run away from disagreements which is something that would kill a long distance relationship. The Saboteur might need a friend to push them to explore a dating website where the love of their life could be waiting, because it seems too scary and unknown. So, discovering what your weaknesses are will help you to determine what strengths you want in another person.

Build a successful dating relationship

A successful relationship is about balance, and even though you want to find someone who is similar to you in many ways, each of you will undoubtedly have different strengths and weaknesses. Once you find the person you are meant to be with, these strengths and weaknesses that each of you bring to the table will fit like a jigsaw puzzle and create a solid foundation that will allow both of you to feel safe and supported enough to grow and mature as a couple.