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Mending a broken Dating Relationship
When a relationship seems to be falling apart, someone in the relationship would somehow try to fix it. Something can still be done as long as there is still love within the relationship. Many have struggled with troubled or broken relationships and have searched for ways to mend them. Mending your broken relationship is an introspective journey involving the core elements of a relationship including love, trust, respect, forgiveness and accepting other persons flaws. The free online dating site www.himherdating.net has thousands of single men, single women and personals looking to start a fresh and lasting relationship.
In this search for answers, Michael J. Formica, MS, MA, EdM, a psychotherapist, teacher and writer for "Psychology Today" wrote about the seven core elements of a relationship to help couples find solutions to their problems. These elements are the social, the physical, the emotional, the spiritual, the intellectual, the material and the sexual elements that make up a relationship. All of these are crucial in keeping a relationship healthy.
What went wrong with your dating relationship?
Before fixing something, you first have to find out what went wrong with the relationship. Looking into the core elements of a relationship you can somehow pinpoint where you went wrong and start from there. Begin with some questions that you need to ask yourself. Where did you or your partner go wrong? Was it because of the people around you? Have you been spending less time together? Are you beginning to question whether your partner still loves you and vice versa? Do you often have a misunderstanding? Have you lost faith or respect for the other? Has money been a problem? Or has your sex life been dry lately? Answering these questions will give you a clear picture of which aspects of your relationship have been hurt.
Acknowledge the broken dating relationship
Now that you see where things have gone wrong, someone has to say "I want to fix this" That acknowledgement that there is something wrong and that yearning to make things right will spark a change for the better and fuel the next steps to this process.
Reach out to your dating partner
Set a moment alone with your love and talk. Be calm and subtle. Do not be confrontational or judgemental. Remember, when a relationship is broken, the fault can go either way. One thing you will need to know now is if your partner is willing to continue mending your relationship. In some cases, one of the two has already given up or would rather end the relationship because he or she has fallen out of love.
In most relationships, there is this time of trial where one or both get hurt because of what their partner did or did not do. The fact that you got hurt badly is because you love the person so much. The truth is, only the people we love can really actually hurt us. So pain can be a sign of love. As the song goes "Love hurts!" right?
Forgive and Forget for the sake of True Love
Forgive and forget is always the advice to mend a broken relationship. But this is easier said than done. Some wounds that your relationship gets are out of lack of respect for yourself or for the other person. This may happen due to infidelity, dishonesty or deceit. When trust is lost, you can never get it back fully. But still, for someone who has true love, nothing is impossible. If you are the one at fault, you should learn to forgive yourself first before asking for forgiveness from your partner. When asking for forgiveness, there should be a sincere promise that whatever you did will not happen again.
When it is your partner who is at fault then you have the option to forgive and forget. This is if you see that the apology is sincere and the person is worth forgiving. The only way to move further from here is to choose to forgive and try to forget. This choice should not be just the choice of one, but of you both to actually make things work.
Make changes in your dating relationship
When forgiveness has been granted, the healing begins. But healing will not be complete if you go on with your relationship the same way as you did before If the problem comes from the social aspect of your relationship, a change in environment or company would do wonders for your love life. If time together is the problem, some things may have to be sacrificed to make time for the one you love. If emotions have been uncertain, look back to the early years of your relationship and try to relive the sweet moments you had together. This will remind you why you fell in love with each other in the first place.
If the differences come from spiritual or intellectual reasons, you both should learn to respect each other's traits. Accept all likes or dislikes. Give each other a sense of space to express this individuality. Lastly, learn to accept flaws that you used to oppose to. Take these as part of the personality of the person that you love. Sometimes the change isn't to correct the things that you think are wrong, but the change should be in the way we see and accept things that are in the relationship.
Seek help to mend your broken dating relationship
When all else fails, a counsellor can intervene and help you both mend your relationship. Sometimes, when a relationship has been scared badly, talking it out on your own just can't make things right anymore. A professional psychologist or life coach can sort things out and point out the things that you can do to mend your broken relationship. Most people who go through these interventions get to see things in a better light and find that love is lovelier the second time around.
Still, in the end, only time will tell if your relationship will survive. But as long as there is love and the willingness to be together, there is always hope.