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6 Tips for Opening Yourself Up to New People
It's easy to get stuck in a dating rut. Everyone has a certain type of person that they are attracted to, whether that attraction is looks or personality based, and often we find that we seem to be dating the same person over and over again. If you find that your relationships are consistently unsuccessful and you notice that all of your past relationship partners seem to have much in common, it might be time for you to open yourself up to dating a new kind of person.
Dating can be nerve-racking and uncertain, so going for the same type of guy or girl over and over again provides a certain sense of comfort and control, but when that formula is no longer working, you need to step outside of your comfort zone and look for someone completely new. Here are some tips that will help you open yourself up to new people and start dating outside of the box.
Re-visit your dating partner wishlist
You know that list of standards you have, that you measure everyone up against before you even get to know them? Put it aside for a minute. If you've been wondering, "Are my standards too high?" then they might be a little unrealistic, and it could probably benefit you to forget about them for a minute. This doesn't mean you need to date someone who is completely opposite the standards you've set for your dating relationships, but in order to meet a new kind of person, you need to re-evaluate how you measure potential dating partners. Try not to judge someone against an invisible measuring stick before you go out on a date and see what happens.
Open yourself to new dating experiences
Familiarity is comfortable, and there is a certain standard of acceptability that exists in our minds when we think of what a first, second or third date should be, but if you really want to open yourself up to new dating experiences, then you need to be less rigid in your view of how things should go. Don't let yourself be instantly bothered by first date hiccups that would normally scare you away. For example, if your date talks too much, if they use their hands excessively while talking, or if their laugh is not exactly attractive, try to overlook those things initially and get to know the person that is underneath. Chances are these tiny annoyances will disappear with time and growing intimacy, as both you and your date become more comfortable with each other.
Dating out of the norm
If you are used to meeting people at bars and clubs or through friends and family, then try something completely new. Ask out the woman who smiles at you at the grocery store or while picking up your coffee in the morning. Say yes to the man who asks for your number while in line for lunch or during a conversation at the gym. Think of this as an exercise in stepping outside of your comfort zone and possibly discovering what you want in your partner through exposure to different people than you would normally date.
Try Online Dating
Online dating is a relatively new way to meet dating partners that you may not have tried or fully committed to yet, but it is showing wonderful results for relationships and marriage matches. Singles dating sites allow you to start dialogues with new, interesting people while keeping the comfortable boundary of a computer screen between the two of you, so they are perfect for starting a conversation with a new kind of person. This allows you to experience dating sites and the variety of potential matches on them without being uncomfortable or in a situation that you don't want to be in.
Turn Up the Charm and Flirt
Unless you are known as a flirt, then you probably don't naturally have that interactive ability that turns on and off at a moment's notice. To meet new people, turn up the charm a little and engage in situations that you might not naturally be inclined to engage in. Smiling is the easiest way to flirt, so start there if you are feeling uncomfortable with the idea. Eye contact with a smile at a stranger is a universal sign meaning "I am attracted to you". You'll quickly see how that little action leads to new conversations and new dates that you otherwise would not have had.
Dating without fear
On the Psychology Today website, clinical psychologist Seth Meyers explains that the process of getting attached to someone happens much faster than the process of getting to know someone on a truly deep level. This is why we often end up getting hurt in the end; it's because we don't take the proper precautions to guard our hearts before discovering if this person is truly worthy of our love and affection. But you don't have to let the fear of getting hurt by becoming too quickly involved stop you from dating new people. Here are a few tips Dr. Meyers offers for dating without fear and without getting attached too quickly:
1. Wait a couple months before deciding they're "The One".
2. Wait at least several dates before engaging in sexual activities.
3. Don't let your friends and family meet him or her for at least a month.
Use these six dating tips at www.himherdating.net to help you navigate new dating waters and to see if you've been going about picking your dates in the wrong way. There are thousands of single men, single women and personals looking for date, love and friendship at the totally free online dating site www.himherdating.net. Don't be afraid to date someone new with a different look or a different personality type, and hopefully you'll see what you've been missing.