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Who we Date and Why
Have you ever wondered why you keep dating the same kind of person over and over again? This person' you are attracted to is clearly not resulting in a committed and lasting relationship, so you may be wondering how to get off of the dating merry-go-round you've gotten yourself on. Figuring out why you go for the kind of person you date and why you choose your specific dating partners is the first step in finding your perfect match. Free online dating sites such as www.himherdating.net provides abundance of dating services and dating advice to help you find the true match among the thousands of single men and single women looking for love, romance and friendship.
We often wonder where do you meet someone worth dating, but the answer is not always clean cut and simple. Even with the explosion of dating sites on the internet that allow you to easily tailor who and what you're looking for, many of us still end up with the same person we know doesn't work for us. So, we end up going back to the same dating routines that we've always used because we can't see what the problem is. Having a dating "groove" is not necessarily a bad thing, but it can often lead to repeating mistakes that you've already made. The first step toward dating free of these mistakes is to take a look at the most common types of partners we are continually drawn to, and see where you fit in and what you can do about it.
Dating Someone Who is Like Your Parents
I'm not saying it's a bad idea to choose a partner who has the same qualities as your mother or your father, but that all depends on the type of parents you have. If you are attracted to someone who is like your parent, it may just be that the familiarity of their personality makes you feel comfortable or that you recognize positive qualities that you want in your spouse. However, if you had a parent who was not always there for you or withheld love and affection, you might be attracted to someone like them out of a need to get the emotional healing from your dating partner that you never got from your parent.
Take a good look at your relationship with your parents before deciding if it's a good thing or a bad thing that you are attracted to someone just like them.
Dating the Best Friend
It's common for men to talk about being caught in the "friend zone" the zone where a strong friendship has developed with a girl they like and now the girl will never see them as anything other than a good friend but men and women alike can both be guilty of using friendships to hide from putting themselves out there.
Maybe you are the person who perpetually ends up dating people who started out as just friends'. The pro's to that strategy are that you will always get to know someone before you commit to a relationship with them and the relationship will usually start out honestly since friends don't make it a habit to lie to one another. However, there are con's as well. Continually turning friendships into dating relationships can quickly turn into an easy access pass to romance. It could speak of an inability to work for the relationship you really want and, instead, take what is right there in front of you because it's easy.
Dating the Rebounder
Does it seem like you are always the rebound guy or girl? Do you always find yourself in a dating relationship with someone who inevitably isn't looking for anything serious'? It's a tough spot to be in, and it can be hard to distinguish what gets you there over and over again.
The problem likely lies in your easy going attitude and inability to see the initial signs that are being sent before you even begin dating. When someone says something like, "I just want to have fun right now," or "I'm not looking for anything serious," you can be pretty sure they are not interested in starting a relationship. However, we often hear those words and dismiss them by thinking that we can change the other person's mind or decide to ignore them so as not to appear too serious. Take these signals seriously and you will start to notice who is in it for something real and who is just trying to use you to move on.
Dating the Bad Boy or Girl
Admit it you like bad boys or bad girls. There's something about their uncaring, adventurous attitude that's attractive and exciting, but it can also make for a very messy and complicated relationship.
Oprah.com contributor, author and public speaker, Rabbi Shmuley, says that those who go for the bad boy or girl types often have a "messiah complex". They feel that they see a diamond in the rough that they can save and turn into a good person. He also points out that those who are not truly in it for a long term commitment will find this type of person attractive because the bad boy or girl personality often sabotages a relationship from the onset. This allows you an easy out since it would likely not have turned into a long term commitment anyway. Stop running away from love and take a deeper look at why you are attracted to the bad boy or girl.