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First Dates: Getting past the jitters

Getting past the jitters

You are about to go on a date with someone you really like. You have been dreaming about it and dreading it at the same time. Self-doubt and nerves can get the best of us on any date, but there's no reason to let the first-date jitters ruin what could be a lot of fun. Free online dating site www.himherdating.net provides abundance of dating tips and dating advice to help you manage your nerves and ace the first date. Follow these dating tips and date confidently with local singles looking for date and love at www.himherdating.net

Relax before the First Date

Go to the gym, a walk on the beach or do yoga the morning of the date. Being in the quiet environment relieves stress and being active improves self confidence. It puts you on a positive track and you are less likely to spend the day worrying that something will go terribly wrong. You can also try telling yourself that your are just meeting a friend. This will take all the romantic pressure off. And remember that the person you are going out with was attracted enough to book the date with you in the first place. Don't approach the first date with the expectation that it has to be xyz. A date is simply an opportunity to spend time with someone new and see if there's potential for more. Remember: A first date is all about possibility - not pressure.

Friends help overcome First Date jitters

Have a friend come over while you are getting ready for the date to pump you with words of encouragement. If you are especially nervous, ask your friend to walk with you toward the date location, so you don't have too much time alone with your thoughts. Another idea is to go to happy hour with friends or coworkers first. I'm not saying get sloshed, but ONE drink will take the edge off, and your friends will help distract you. Plus, you'll fool into thinking that "This date can't be a big deal! I'm not taking it that seriously. I mean, I'm at a BAR first."

Be prepared for your First Date

Take the time beforehand to think of interesting conversation topics to help eliminate the amount of awkward moments of silence. You can also type your date's name into a search engine and see if you can glean something about your date's background. This can help you find something in common, and will eliminate the feeling that you are meeting a total stranger. Another idea is to make plans for immediately after the date, thus setting a time cap. It's easier to face the prospect of a date when you know that no matter what, at x pm, you have to leave and go do something else. If the date goes really well, you'll look extra forward to the next time.

Be curious about your Date's Interests

A frequent complaint both men and women have after a first date is that the other person talked too much and didn't ask questions or listen. People notice when you notice them. A few specific questions about your date's interests is a good place to start. Share some things about yourself too, so the date becomes a conversation and not a job interview. When you focus your attention on the other person and worry less about what you are going to say next, you are more likely to relax and stay in the moment, and that will lead to a more successful date. Remember to listen, remember to reply. If the date isn't good at maintaining a conversation, that's his/her issue. Be interesting, clean and human, and your half is done. Be open about your feelings and explain that you feel slightly nervous and may take a while to settle into the flow of things in a real life setting. Don't try and mask it by affecting abnormal behaviors that aren't reflective of who you are. Your date will likely be in the same boat, to some extent.

Be Confident and Positive about your First Date

If you go into a date really nervous thinking about what to say, how you're going to act, then you're just not going to be yourself, and that's what you need to present: Yourself, a good, strong positive, amazing side of yourself. Don't talk about exes. Don't talk about things you don't like. Talk about all things that you like. Talk about your dreams, and more importantly: Have fun. Here's the deal: In terms of what you say or what you do, they're either going to like you or they're not going to like you. It's not one statement that's going to sway them in one direction or another. It's not the place you pick out that's going to sway them one way or the other. Remember that while you know you're different to your online persona, everyone is to an extent. And while you might see yourself as more outgoing via email, you are still the person that wrote them. This isn't an audition where you fail the test and everything crashes down. Some awkwardness is perfectly normal in a situation like this and your date will understand that moving from online to real life is something that often takes more than one meeting.

Have Fun on your First Date

Remember that dating is about learning to enjoy yourself and the company of someone else. There shouldn't be any pressure to do anything except have fun. Be confident, smile, be honest, open, and true to yourself and you'll begin to feel more comfortable in the dating game. Getting to know someone who you're attracted to, finding out more about them and all the things you have in common, whether you can make each other laugh, all of that–it's fun. Focus just on the date and being as genuine as you can be. If the chemistry isn't right then there will be other dates. Relax into the moment and appreciate the fact that, no matter what ends up happening, going out with someone new is more fun than sitting at home doing nothing. It's not a job interview; it's a Let's-have-some-fun-together interview!