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FROM FRIENDS TO LOVERS
When I think of friends falling in love with each other, I start singing this song..."I can't fight this feeling any longer. Yet I'm still afraid to let it show. What started out as friendship has gone stronger. I only wish I had the strength to let it show...." The very lyrics of this song describe perfectly the struggle of someone who has secretly fallen for a close friend.
It is not unusual that a boy or girl would fall in love with a friend. Actually the relationships that started with friendship are said to last the longest and are most likely to be successful. But revealing your feelings to a friend may lead in different directions. It's either you get a positive response and you end up being together, or your friend loses trust in you and you lose the friendship.
It is not easy being in love while being in the friendzone with the person you love. It is easier to get rejected by someone you just met. You can continue living without that person and move on to your next adventure. But to be rejected by a friend is much more painful because you will have to live with the awkwardness of seeing the person with someone else, while you hang around as the loyal friend.
Am I in the Friendzone?
If you've just realized that you are in love with your friend, you would wonder if the one you love has the same feelings for you too. Is the feeling mutual or are you the only one feeling that way? There are signs of mutual attraction that you can look out for like the body language of the person when you are around. You can see in his or her eyes if you mean more than just a friend. Does the person compliment you often, or does he or she compliment people of the opposite sex in front of you? Are you treated the same way as the other friends or do you have a different kind of closeness? You are in the friend zone, if you find that the person you love only sees you as a friend.
I have fallen for my Friend
One more thing you have to be sure of is, if what you feel is real or not. Is your love really love or just a crush or infatuation. Remember, you are putting your friendship at risk by going beyond friendship so before making any big decisions, think it through.
A crush is just admiration. You may admire the way he or she looks, speaks or moves. You may also admire a certain talent of trait that the person has. This kind of admiration is shallow and can easily be turned off by any flaws or faults that you may find unappealing about a person.
Infatuation is much stronger. It makes you feel like you want the person all to yourself. It's as if you are building a dreamland and the only people on it are the two of you. Infatuation can lead to obsession and in the end, when the infatuation fades; you end up hurting other people because of the foolishness you do out of what you think is love.
Love is simple and selfless. Someone who truly loves is willing to sacrifice for the happiness of the other. If a friend in love sees that the one he or she loves is happy, then that person sets his or her feelings aside just for that persons happiness.
Do I have a Chance?
Once you are sure of your love for your friend, ask yourself..."Do I have a chance?" Again, be observant. There are signs that say he or she likes you too. Many people keep their feeling to themselves because somehow they can see that they don't mean anything more than a friend to the one they love.
How Can I tell Her?
If you truly are friends, then honesty is the best way to go. Tell your friend straight up just how you are feeling for him or her. Communication is a very important ingredient to romance. The way you speak to each other determines your romantic chemistry.
Of course, no action is not without consequences. You should be able to anticipate the reaction of your friend. If you choose to tell your friend, three things could happen: It's either your friend gets angry and never speaks to you again; or your friend rejects you and says "Let's just be friends." Ouch! But still there is that one chance that your friend feels the same way and your profession of love was the only thing he or she was waiting for.